19820102 Murder is Easy Bill Bixby, a MIT Professor, Gets Mixed Up in The Death of A Lady He Met on The Train. Solid Agatha Christie Mystery. (A Fiesta 8)

& Pigs Vs. Freaks  It’s The Hippies versus The Cops in Football in This Cameo-ridden TV Movie.

The Full Fiesta 13 for January 1982. Kung Fu, Thomas Dolby, Reagan & Carter, Trailers, Commercials & More. Press Play & Enjoy!

Skip to Taste (A Fiesta 7)

19820132 Battletruck (ShoutTV)

(A Fiesta 6)

Filmed before Mad Max (in New Zealand), but released after, Battletruck AKA Warlords of The 21st Century still looks like another 1980’s Mad Max retread clogging up the video store.

Just like AMERICA! in the eighties, we’all think the end of the world is mostly just a gas crisis. So, when the world runs out of gas, let’s all drive behemoth gas guzzlers! Makes sense. All the cities go away, replaced by giant trucks. Sure, we’ll be fine in a small nuclear war. All nuclear war does in the 1980’s is make us dirty, forced to wear rags and leather.

There’s a battletruck, a battlemotorcycle, and a battleVWbug. All just regular vehicles with cheap metal re-enforcements welded onto the side.

So, a sociopathic general kills many intruders and runs off his daughter. She joins up with a mystery motorcycle rider to take back their camp.

The Battletruck is only in the first fifteen minute and the last five. Battletruck blows up real good. The rest of the time seems to be devoted to talking.

We’all once met a guy with a battletruck. Only the richest of icels can afford something beyond a Hummer. This guy broke apart a two smaller Hummers and welded it to a larger Hummer. The smaller Hummers were also dissected to create a driver & co-driver & a machine-gun turret.

Chip, this rich incel asshole, used his UberHummer for something massively petty. Chip hated everything girly and the girly-girls propagating The Girly-Girl Lifestyle.

So, at night, he’d roll-up to a ‘Girly-girl’s’ well-kept garden. Then, he’d gun the engine at 140 decibels, unleash the flame-thrower & crush the flowers to confetti. Laughing as others cry.

After we’all found out about Chip’s asshole behavior, we built a fancy garden on as weak plywood platform over a Hummer-sized pit filled with cooking oil.

And waited.

Three nights later. Chip silently rolled his UberHummer into the garden. When he started the truck and flame-thrower, The UberHummer’s shaking broke the plywood. The UberHummer burst into an intense fireball 200 yards across.

Chip & seven others were all flame-broiled.

Oops.

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19820122 Death Valley (Plex)

(A Fiesta 6)

There’s a killer on the road
His brain is squirmin’ like a toad
Take a long holiday
Let your children play
If you give this man a ride
Sweet family will die
Killer on the road, yeah

—Stupid Doors song, plot to Death Valley.

Before A Christmas Story, child actor Peter Billingsly was also the glue that held together this TV movie, a Duel knock-off.

Watchable, with a few slow spots and a predictable ending, there’s more mouse than cat in this cat-n-mouse.

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We’all have only been through Death Valley twice.` Once each way. When We’all were six, our dad–over-emotional, young, impulsive, and at the end of his rope–picked us up from daycare and I went to sleep eight states over in a trailer home next to Disneyland.

I was kidnapped & only remember Death Valley as being the floorboards of the car as I hid in the backseat. And the heat of a car without AC in the summer. Forever driving, yanked out of my world.

We did go to Disneyland a lot.

When the money ran out, We’all were all un-kidnapped. As if life was reset to normal. Nobody said nuthin’.

Life.

Take a car ride TO HELL!

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