19920101 Cthulhu Mansion Not Much Love for This Craft. Only Tangentially Lovecraftian. Cthulhu is Just Some Octopus Arms in This Low-Budget Trapped-in-A-House Movie. (A Fiesta 5)

& 19920129 House IV Did You Know There Were Three Sequels to House? This One Has The Greatest American Hero.

Quentin’s First, Allison Ander’s First, Trailers & The R-Word: The Full Fiesta 13 for January 1992!

Press Play & Enjoy:

19920132 Brother’s Keeper Wanna Feel Better About Where You Live? Watch This Riveting Documentary about Three Unusually Close Brothers. (A Fiesta 11)

19920108 Evil Toons (Tubi)

(A Fiesta 9)

A lie. There’s only one Evil Toon, not plural. The cartoon beast was on screen less than Jerry dancing with Fred. We’all suppose David Carradine could be an evil toon & not just an actor blankly collecting a check. Carradine does hang himself (non-autoerotic) at the beginning to release the toon.

Four co-eds are hired to clean a haunted mansion. Dick Miller & Arte Johnson are there to supply the male gaze. Dick Miller plays a version of himself called Burt in an alternative universe. Later, Dick Miller does get lil’ Dick Miller bitten off.

Coincidently, The Evil Toons Special Effects Budget = One pair of giant monster teeth.

However, the lingerie budget is massive. If there’s one question director Fred Olen Ray always answers, it’s “What’s that nice lady look like topless?” Question answered for all four thirty-ish co-eds.

Also, if you ever run across a Necronomicon, um, DON’T OPEN & ESPECIALLY DON’T READ FROM IT! Geez.

While not really scary or funny, everyone’s having a good time. A little bit meta in presentation. So, pretty watchable. Plus, who doesn’t like genre legend Dick Miller? One of the better Fred Olen Ray movies.

Turn the movie off ten minutes early, though. The ending is a cop-out and a cheat. Invent your own ending. Let’s say a sexy, lingerie party in the rain or something. Not quite “It was all a dream,” but close.

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19920132 Star Time (Night Flight)

(A Fiesta 4)

Stars.

Stars.

Stars so far away.

A head full of stars. Far-away head stars.

Time for far-away head stars to shine.

Shine, far-away back-of-the head stars, shine.

Shine time head stars.

Shine your shiny dullness, wavy-headed far-away, out-of-brain. Timeless head stars.

Random words are often called art.

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Some of the mind wandering we’all thought about while this micro-budget video droned on in the background. & droned & droned on.

There’s a guy in a mask. Another guy gets the guy in the mask to do increasingly criminal activities.

Except for the other guy who looks familiar, the acting was aggravatingly bad.

So, we’all decided it’s time to watch the movie in our headful of hazy stars.

Y’all can do it!

It’s simple. Get mildly fucked-up on the fucker-upper of your choice.

Lean back. Stretch out.

Relax the muscles & slacken the brain.

Close your eyes.

Now, slowly use your index finger to apply soft, increasing pressure to your eyes.

Soon,

Star Time!

The lights, the colors in your own headful of hazy stars.

Consult your doctor before trying Star Time. Severe headaches may occur.

The Stars! These stars behind the mask are making me cra-zee. Like kill-craz-ee!

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